* * * *
And I don't smile that often these days. Got a lot on my mind, got stuff that I personally want to accomplish all the while making sure I literally and figuratively provide food for the table (and diapers for little Issa and the usual stuff for her older sister, Ikai). The daily 9-hour grind at the Desk (with the politicking and compromising and relentless pursuit of that "job well done") is quite exhausting, not to mention at times very stressful. Even though you still want to accomplish something for yourself at the end of the day, whatever energy you have left in your fuel tank you would rather spend it all on your family.
Of course, nothing is more refreshing and welcome than coming home exhausted from work to a family you've missed the entire day -- a loving wife whose presence and gentle kiss reminds you how wonderful married life is, and two delightful daughters -- one makulit despite being less than two months old (forever looking for her mother), and the other uberly-makulit and talkative. The frown I carry the entire day turns into a smile when I get home. That's why I look forward to 5:30s during the workday week -- because my three girls will be there waiting for me to come home.
* * * *
To break the stress and somewhat somber feeling, I spend a lot of my lunch breaks outside the office, usually at the mall where I can, for at least 40 minutes or so, lose myself in books, mags, video games, office and art supplies, and comics. My comic book spending actually shot up since last December due to frequent excursions to Fully Booked, Powerbooks, National Bookstore and Planet X / Comic Odyssey.
As I've mentioned in the previous post, my recent purchases included Identity Crisis and Kingdom Come. I've also rummaged through P25 to P180 comic bins and bought myself good-looking comics (such as Stormwatch, WildCATs, and others). My latest additions are those Psicom comics collections -- DC Superheroes that featured three comics in one (Superman-Batman, Justice League, and Supergirl), shrunk to about half-A4. There's also a Marvel equivalent but since I'm mainly a DC guy, I did not buy back-issues of Marvel Heroes. What made the Psicom comic collections attractive were the back-issues that they sold in bundles (and consecutive issues) of four for only P100 a pack -- latest issue of DC Superheroes costs P95. So, to get 4 issues for P100 (despite those being back-issues) is a real steal.
* * * *
Another reason for getting back into comics and even buying those locally-printed Psicom 3-in-1 comic books has got more to do with a personal commitment to get back to the drawing board, literally. I'm hoping to jump-start my drawing skills which have stagnated since I started my career. Anyone looking at my office notes all throughout the 10+ years I've been working will see doodles on the margins and that just proves that the desire to draw didn't really left me. It was just shelved (just like many projects I've done in my oh-so-called corporate life) but now I hope to bring it back.
And the step I undertook recently was to buy myself a sketchpad. And some drawing pencils. And some drawing pens. I've also taken to reading stuff online in relation to comics, inking, drawing, illustration, and webcomics.
Ultimately, what I want to come up with is a webcomics (I don't have the powers yet to do an actual comics ala Superman or Batman) and make sure I stick to a scheduled update. Looking at what's online, a majority of webcomics update at least once or twice a week.
Whether the webcomics will be funny, serious, or about muscle-laden superheroes and heroines is still subject to debate (between me, myself and moi) but I'm now starting to do sketches as a way of practicing and getting a feel for the project. I'm also still trying to come up with stories (good to have a buffer) for the webcomics and determining the best way to go about it (freehand drawing and inking versus mixed freehand and digital process).
Hopefully the office workload, health, and other matters cooperate so that come summer, I'll be ready to launch.
* * * *
Aside from comics and drawing, I also need to hone my writing, especially spec-fic writing. The entire month of January has passed and I haven't written anything yet. There are, according to the column on the right, several writing markets available in the coming months but I've yet to take any action.
Quite difficult to concentrate on anything when you're busy thinking about a lot of things, huh?
* * * *
And why does it seem I am trying to do many things all at the same time?
It's because I turn 34 in 22 days time and I feel that much time has already elapsed and I have yet to feel a sense of creative achievement. Too much ningas-cogon, so to speak. I think of something, start working on it, and then for one reason or another, shelf it with the intent of picking it up another day. And that's the problem, the intents remain intents, never action and unless I punch myself in the face or kick me-self in the groin, nothing will get done.
I guess turning 34 has spooked me a bit. And I now feel I need to get a sense of where I'm heading in my personal pursuit for excellence and fulfillment.
Wala lang, rants lang.
