Crunching Up the Numbers

I find myself in a weird situation now … I’m working with numbers.

Those who know me well know that I abhor numbers … that is, I abhor numbers except if they mean moolah!

I’ve never been that good with numbers. Again … NEVER. It’s my waterloo.

In grade six, my best effort in math only produced about 82 in the report card. My worst was a 77 – a dobleng palakol (double axe) literally. It didn’t help that my teacher then resembled a mango and had a penchant for harassing girls. It was to his benefit that sexual harassment was not an issue then.

In high school, I generally sucked in physics, chemistry, trigonometry, algebra, geometry, exponents and calculus in high school. While I excelled in my English, Filipino, and History subjects, my grades were plummeting in the numbers department – Science and Mathematics. My physics teacher was frustrated with me. He thought he was a failure because the grades he was giving me were bringing down all my other grades. It didn’t help that my math teacher in second year, if I recall correctly, had a crush on me. It would’ve been ok if the teacher had been a woman, but a man?

I generally believe that I did not enter the high school honor roll because of my number-related subjects. Looking at the roster of high school awardees then, all of them were good in math.

In college, it was the same story.

My best effort in Math 1 in U.P. was a 2.75, just .25 shy of hitting the “pasang awa” grade of 3 (otherwise it would have been alongside my communication research grade of 3 -- my lowest grade in college). I was one of only 5 people in my Math 1 class who took the final exams simply because I sucked in anything that had to do with numbers. While the rest of my barkada were free to do anything they wanted, I was sweating it out in the room with a pencil in hand, and using my fingers as a calculator. Good thing my journalism course only required Math 1 as a pre-requisite. If I had to take Math 11 and Math 14 (calculus and algebra, which were the minimum Math requirements for other degrees), I’m quite sure I’ll still be in U.P. right now.

I again was presented with a problem during my STS in 4th year since this of course meant physics and chemistry. Many of us innumerates (the number-centric equivalent of illiterates) are quite thankful of the many sample tests and guides that can be acquired for a few pesos worth of photocopying. And it helped that the exams in STS was multiple choice as this test method gave you the chance to hit the right answer without bothering to do calculations in the first place.

Following my formative years in school, finding work also exposed my ineptitude with numbers. While taking those numerous application exams, I generally skipped math-related questions. I worked on other questions first – grammar, spelling, abstract reasoning, etc. before I devoted the remaining test time on the mathematical questions. I know, I sucked in those questions in most cases.

So, why do I suck at numbers?

My thinking is that some people are just born with a head for numbers. In my case, I was born with a head for letters. I learned and understood my ABC’s before I even recited my 1-2-3’s. The words “cat” and “dog” were easier to digest than 1+1. Reading a book was more exciting than doing calculations. And until today, I still think that reading a book is more enjoyable than trying to calculate the ROI of a marketing program I came up with, in the first place.

Early in life, I knew I sucked with numbers. I was further traumatized when in grade two I was asked to compete in a numbers flash card contest.

That day, the math teacher decided it was time to test our mathematical abilities via an oral exam. The mechanics of the contest was that, the competitors were to stand at the back of the room and the teacher would flash cards that had formulas on them – addition, subtraction, division and multiplication. The competitors had to outdo each other by providing the correct answer to the calculation. Each correct answer meant a step forward. The first one to reach the blackboard was the winner.

I desperately tried to hide from my teacher’s gaze but alas, she found me and I was forced to stand on the back. She chose an enemy – a girl who I knew had a knack for numbers – and my heart sank and my fear arose.

As the teacher started flashing cards, my enemy started answering … correctly. I froze. My brains froze. Each flash card seemed a blur – quite similar to what a dyslexic sees when you ask him to read something. And with each step my enemy took, my embarrassment became more and more prominent.

When I finally couldn’t take it anymore … I cried.

I’ve never quite forgotten that incident although I know my teacher tried to comfort me and ended the torture when she saw tears streaking down my cheeks.

So, it’s quite a surprise to find myself working with numbers.

My current work in marketing has me crunching up the numbers. I’m perceived as an analyst here, someone good with numbers. I’m analyzing data and numbers and basically answering the question “why” with these numbers. Thank goodness for excel.

But of course, I’ve learned the importance of numbers in the work that I do. Marketing won’t be all that powerful and efficient if you don’t have numbers in the first place. Guess work marketing has now been transformed into measurable marketing and it has made developing marketing programs much easier. Of course, creativity and little gut-feel still help and using these things are still very much practiced worldwide. But the inclusion of numbers has made it easier for marketing people to get approval from management.

So, while I still abhor numbers, I’ve learned to live with them. I still get the usual headaches from crunching up those numbers but I’ve learned to understand them and make them work for me.

And it helps that my wife knows her numbers.